Today I discovered another meaning of gratitude.
I was reflecting on why I procrastinate so frequently and why I often don’t put into place simple practices and rituals that I know would help centre me, and propel me forward.
Why am I always stopping myself doing what I want to do, in terms of my spirituality? Why do I find more washing, and more bed-making and more semi-useless tasks to put my energy into… all the while knowing I am deliberately slowing myself down or even stopping myself in my tracks.
I had a canny knack of receiving a lovely piece of guidance – you know that wonderful moment of creativity when a beautiful fresh thought pops into your head and you think (with all your heart) fab… I’m going to do that! - only to turn it on its head within three seconds flat, by regaling all the things that could go wrong and all the reasons why I shouldn’t do it, until I finally give in and say, 'nah… don’t bother with that.'
However, from that moment on I feel down, dark, and heavy. As now I have a ‘double if not triple whammy’ of negative feelings. Firstly, that won’t work; secondly, so don’t bother; thirdly; why don’t I ever have any good ideas.
But guess what… I just did! In that quiet moment (however I managed to achieve that state) I was gifted an incredible nugget of thought, fully formed… which I simply poo poo’d.
I reflected on that. Why would I talk myself out of potential brilliant ideas; money-spinners; life-changers? I went through the usual ‘am I afraid of rejection?’, ‘am I afraid of being judged?... right through to ‘am I afraid of success?’ You know it could be one, a combination, all of them or even none – but what I decided is that it’s happened; I am now consciously aware that I'm doing it, and that I really should focus on a solution.
I decided to switch my line of questioning to ‘what would stop me procrastinating?’
I turned over the question to Archangel Metatron, who told me quite simply ‘gratitude’.
I stopped for a moment, thinking hmmm, ‘so I should give thanks for procrastinating?’, before the penny dropped…
I should give thanks for the moments of clarity; the wonderful ideas; the opportunity to take a divinely inspired moment and turn it into something. I should give thanks that I received something designed just for me, and that I have a new opportunity and the seed of potential of something great. I should always give thanks for the new, the chance to start again moment to moment.
Gratitude is not simply just saying thanks, it’s a tool to be used to spur yourself on and remind yourself just how privileged we are to be able to create; no matter the likelihood of success.
It is the manifestation of the idea that we should look at with respect and show gratitude that our purpose of expansion - through thought, action and joy - is there for us whenever we quiet our minds and tap in.